Registered mental health Counsellor, and CEO of Lichfield-based Mind Management for You, Sheila McMahon shares her experiences and thoughts about Imposter Syndrome – What is it? How does it affect employees and businesses? How can it be managed?
We often hear the words ‘Imposter Syndrome’, but what is it?
A definition from the Oxford languages says it is: ‘the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.’.
Have you ever heard after someone achieved something, statements like ‘It’s unbelievable’, or ‘I can’t believe that I did it’.
Working as a mental health counsellor, I come across Imposter Syndrome all the time.
So why doesn’t somebody believe their own successes?
They may have been told sayings like ‘Don’t be too big for your boots’, or ‘self-praise is no recommendation’. They may have learnt to play down their successes, and as result, learnt not to believe them. They may doubt their own ability and constantly tell themselves ‘I could never do that’.
They may be around people who don’t give praise or encouragement.
The Oxford language definition also goes on to state that:
“People suffering from Imposter Syndrome may be at increased risk of anxiety.”
Again, this a common thing I come across in my private practice. I have heard successful business professionals say that they are scared they will be found out, or, that they feel like a fraud.
This can affect their decision making where they might check an email repeatedly before sending it, as they may doubt their own decision making, due to Imposter Syndrome.
In my opinion, Imposter Syndrome is learnt behaviour, and behaviour can be changed.
In the definition, one of the words used is “Deserved”.
We all deserve to feel happy, successful in whatever we do and who we are. We also may have been taught that we don’t deserve it, and to doubt our abilities.
If you believe you have Imposter Syndrome and want to change this, then my advice is to notice the language you are saying to yourself! Are you saying things like: “It’s impossible that I did that.” Notice if the language you are saying to yourself is causing you to feel good, or to feel bad about something. The word “Impossible” can also look like “I’m possible”.
We can challenge beliefs we have adopted about ourselves. We can ask ourselves: “Would I want my friend to have this same belief?” We could ask: “If my friend had this limiting belief about themselves, what would I want them to think differently about themselves?”
Most of us are great at giving other people advice. Sometimes we just need to follow our own advice and get out of our own way!
Notice if you ‘play down’ your successes and start to own them! I keep a portfolio of my achievements and if Imposter Syndrome creeps in, I look at what I have achieved and recognise my own abilities.
You can keep a journal of nice comments people have said about you, so if you have a day when you doubt your own worth, you can remind yourself of how worthy you are. When someone compliments you, you can say “Thank you”, or “I’ll take that”. You don’t have to keep putting yourself down.
I encourage you to be your own best friend, besides you must live with you. So why not make it a great experience. I’ve had a lot of personal therapy in the past to manage Imposter Syndrome. Please know that you don’t have to struggle with Imposter Syndrome and can ask for help.
If you are a business owner, or entrepreneur, you can keep a success jar.
This is where you write down your successes at the end of the week or month and put them in your success jar.
Feel free to adapt this technique to whatever way feels comfortable for you. It might work better for you to have your own success diary. Whatever you choose, you can then look over what you have already achieved to validate your achievements and successes as your own.
Anyone wishing to provide feedback on their own experiences of Imposter Syndrome in the workplace, or individually, can email Sheila on [email protected] or let us know at Daily Focus by emailing [email protected]
